Happy, Joyous and Free

The Internet is an amazing thing, and blogs by extension are amazing as well. In just a few simple mouse clicks you can go from Heaven to Hell and back again.

Being new to the world of blogs, I went to my profile and start exploring where some of my links would take me. In just two clicks I found the pastor of my church and a wonderful site full of encouragement and uplifting messages about the love God has for all His children. Two more clicks and I was back to my profile.

This time I tried my link to AA. Two clicks there and I was reading about a young person who was full of despair, full of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. This person wanted to know if the madness would ever end, would they ever be free of the insane urge to use heroin again. I left a couple of posts offering words of encouragement. I shared my experience, strength and hope and told this person that the madness would end and that they would be in my prayers.

I read some of the other comments to this person's blog. With one more click and I was at another site, this person talked of the futility of life. How life had little or no meaning. That the demons were really no different than the angels. I had to back click my way out of there...I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything at all.

I sat at my computer and stared at the screen, thinking about all the places the Internet would take me in just a few clicks of the mouse. It hit me that blogging really is a reflection of our society and the world as a whole. There were plenty of other links under AA that took me to the sites of people who embraced the whole concept of AA and recovery. People who believe, as I do, that my Higher Power created me to be happy, joyous and free. Again, it reflects what I have found to be true in recovery, and in life itself. That I get out of it just about what I put in to it. If I look for what's positive in my life, the positive increases. If I look for what's negative in my life, the negative increases.

Yesterday, my brother was admitted to the hospital suffering from clinical depression. Since the loss of his daughter almost one year ago, he has tried to fight the downward spiral he's found himself in, by himself. Yesterday, he took the first step, he admitted there was a problem and that his life was unmanageable, that he couldn't do it alone. I lost my oldest daughter just four weeks after his daughter died. I could have looked for the negative in his going to the hospital, if I were so inclined, and said, "that's just great, my brother has gone nuts and I suppose I'll be next." On the Internet that is inside my head, just a couple of mouse clicks will take me in any direction I let it, to Heaven or to Hell.

So for today, just for today, I will focus on what's positive in my life. Tomorrow I will take care of tomorrow. Today, I will be grateful to my Higher Power, God, for seeing my brother safely to the hospital. Today, I will be grateful for all the prayers and the support he has received on his site. Today, I will trust that God will do for him what he cannot do for himself. Today, I will believe that when he gets out of the hospital he will be able to live a life that is happy, joyous and free.

Will we ever forget our daughters or stop grieving their loss? Never. But can we live a life full of purpose, a life spent thinking more of others than of ourselves? A life that is happy, joyous and free? The choice is up to each of us individually. (And I'm not just talking about the two of us.)

I know which choice I will make for today.

God Bless you brother. Get well. Be happy, joyous and free.