Give Me The Highway

How Great Thou Art

2008-03-09T13:37:00.003-05:00

It's been a while since I've been able to post. My current project has the contractor working 10 days on and 4 off. By the time I get my paperwork and reports up to date, I get three days to myself, but they have been going by awfully fast. Despite the current schedule, the contractor is falling behind so they announced last week that when they come back they will work 30 days in a row to catch up.

My wife decided that if I was going to be working that kind of a schedule, then we both needed to take a couple of days and get away. So she decided to book us for a couple of nights over in Grand Island, NE just because we had never been there before. As it turns out, Grand Island is right in the middle of the busiest flyway for migratory watefowl, including the Sand Hill Crane. I wish pictures could show or words describe some of the scenes we witnessed as we drove the back roads around Grand Island. At times the sky was just filled with Cranes, Snow Geese, Canadian Geese and ducks of all kinds. The sound was unbelievable. One thought kept coming to us over and over again..."How Great Thou Art."

Growing Through Grief

2008-02-15T19:35:00.005-06:00

Today is my daughter Annette's 33rd. birthday. For 31 years I would wish her a Happy Birthday and get her a present. Last year, just a few weeks after her death, I was not able to do any more than just remember that it would have been her 32ond birthday. This year, Annette sent me a birthday present.

My wife reads a daily devotional called "Our Daily Bread" and today she shared this with me. I do not believe in coincidences. This was today's reading for a reason. This was Annette sending me a birthday present this year. This was God letting me know that He has Annette in His care, that He is there for me...always.

Here is today's reading from "Our Daily Bread".

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.” Psalm 119: 71

A woman who lost her husband of 40 years to a sudden heart attack said that the resulting grief had caused her to value love more. When she heard couples arguing, she sometimes spoke to them, saying, “You don’t have time for this.” She noted that the wasted moments in all our lives become more precious when they cannot be repeated.

Grief changes our perspective on life. It is trite but true that how we deal with sorrow will make us either bitter or better. In a remarkable statement, the psalmist actually thanked God for a difficult experience: “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word….It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.” (Psalm 119: 67, 71).

We don’t know the nature of the psalmist’s affliction, but the positive outcome was a longing to obey the Lord and a hunger for His Word. Rarely can we use this truth to comfort those who hurt. Instead, it is the Lord’s word to us from His compassionate heart and the touch from His healing hand.

When we grieve, it feels more like dying than growing. But as God wraps His loving arms around us, we have the assurance of His faithful care. –David McCasland

I have been through the valley of weeping,
The valley of sorrow and pain;
But the God of all comfort was with me,
At hand to uphold and sustain. –Anon.

Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. –Psalm 116: 15

Happy Birthday Annette, I love you.

Political Correctness

2008-02-10T17:09:00.000-06:00

I usually leave the political commentary to my brother and in my humble opinion he does a very good job of making people think. But I was sent this definition of "PC" by a very dear friend in Texas and felt obliged to pass it on for what it's worth.

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term: Political Correctness."

Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

Don't Count Your Chickens...

2008-02-05T12:39:00.000-06:00

A picture truely is worth a hundred words.

They say pride goeth before a fall and in the case of the 18-1 Patriots this is certainly true. Just watch the clip of Tom Terrific responding to Plax's prediction of a Big Blue victory by a score of 20-17, or any of the Beantown bloggers who were predicting a humiliation of the G-Men of epic proportion. And make no mistake, this was a game of epic proportion, just not quite the way all the talking heads and sports pundits called it.

And even in the aftermath of one of the greatest Super Bowls of all time, one of the greatest upsets of all time, one to rival Broadway Joe's famous guarantee, many of the experts still can't give the Giants their due. I've heard all kinds of explanations and rationalizations to account for the Pats stunning loss. The fact is, the Giants were just plain better in all phases of the game and just gave New England an old fashioned a** whoopin'. They took 'em out behind the woodshed and tanned their hides. So hats off the the G-Men and let's not rush to crown Boston as the center of the sports world just yet.

A Game for the Ages

2008-01-21T08:17:00.000-06:00

What a game. It was one of those games where you didn't want either team to loose. And though I am a Green Bay fan, I am a Giants fanatic. With only the slightest bit of regret because of all my friends in Hayward, I was a very happy camper yesterday evening. It was a crazy final few minutes of regulation and overtime. My phone kept ringing. My son, who is now stationed down in Mississippi, called several times to talk about high points and low points and missed calls. I heard from several friends back in Hayward, in fact Rollie called to watch the field goal kick in overtime and because his cable feed was about 4 seconds ahead of mine, he offered my a very gracious congratulations before I saw the ball being snapped from center. Thanks Rollie. And congratulations to all the Green Bay fans on an excellent season and a truly class football team.

Now lets hope all experts continue to give the Giants no chance to win like they have the last three weeks and see if the G-Men can be the fly in the Patriots ointment down in Arizona.

Fellowship

2008-01-15T20:02:00.000-06:00

When I was running and gunning, I can remember so many different times when I would be in a room full of people I had know all my life and feeling like I was all alone. I felt like there was a hole inside me that no amount of sex or drugs or rock and roll could fill. And I felt like none of the people in that room understood or even cared.

I have not felt that way for the last fourteen years. When I came into the rooms of AA fourteen years ago, I found a way of life that I can't imagine being without today. I found a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. Since that day, these men and women have seen me through the first stages of my recovery. They loved me until I learned to love myself. They saw me throught the death and passing of my mom when I was about five years sober. They were with me when I found and married the love of my life, a wonderful woman who is also in recovery. They were with me when my grandma passed away, when my niece died last year and they were there for me when my own daughter passed away last year.

Through all the joy, through all the sorrow, from New York to California and from Alaska to Texas, these men and women have been there for me. I have never felt alone. I have never been alone.

Happy New Year

2008-01-04T20:05:00.000-06:00

Well its the start of a another new year and the start to another new job. After three and a half years in Wisconsin, we find ourselves in Nebraska. It was very hard leaving all the friends we made there behind but I know there are many new friends here in Columbus that we just haven't met yet.
I haven't posted in a while due to all the packing, moving and regular holiday hubbub that comes along every year. But we made the move without incident and are getting nicely settled into our new apartment. I need to take a moment to remember my daughter Annette. One year ago yesterday, the Lord called her home. There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't grieve her passing. I miss her so much. She was so special in so many ways. She was challenged, but never submitted to her challenges, she never gave in and she never gave up. Things for her in this life were never going to be the way she imagined them, they were never going to be the way she longed for them to be but that never stopped her from dreaming that some day her dreams would come true. She was just shy of her thirty-second birthday and left two young sons behind. But she left them with her mom. They will be well cared for and loved. Annette, you did your job. Your dreams did come true and now you can rest from your labors in the loving arms of your Lord and Savior. I know you accepted Jesus into your life and I know in my heart that He has taken you into His care. I am happy for you honey.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-22T22:04:00.000-06:00

Just a short note to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas, especially all the wonderful folks in the Hayward community who have taken my wife and me into their hearts and made us family.

In addition to the usual hustle and bustle that accompanies Christmas, this year we are also in the midst of packing for a move to Nebraska. My project here in Wisconsin is finished and I'll be starting on a new one in Nebraska right after the first of the year. In the 30 plus years that I have been tramping around the country doing this kind of work, this is by far the hardest move I have ever had to make.

The other night, some friends presented us with a note book, signed by a lot of friends from the Wesleyan church and from our friends in recovery. After reading the thoughts and feelings of the people who have come to be family to us (and without a dry eye in the house) my wife said, "If its like this every time we move, I don't think I can do this." I told her, "I hope it's just like this every time we move." As much as it hurts, leaving friends and family behind, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

Merry Christmas and God Bless.

Thanksgiving (A Tale of Two Men)

2007-11-22T07:09:00.000-06:00

Today, all over the country, people will be gathering to give thanks for all the blessings in their lives. As I sit here this morning, listening to my wife in the kitchen making pies, I am thinking about all I have to be grateful for. The list is long and I won't go into great detail, but the list includes family, friends and not the least of all, my sobriety. Because without that, I wouldn't have any of the other things in my life today.

Yesterday, I went to the Sawyer County jail to visit a young man at the request of a family member from our church. He is currently a guest of Sawyer County as a direct result of his drinking. We visited for about an hour and he told me some of his story. I shared some of my experience, strength and hope with him. Toward the end of our visit, he made a comment about how much it sucked to be in jail at Thanksgiving. I told him to remember how much he had to be grateful for instead of thinking about how much he had to be down about. I told him about the funeral I attended a couple of weeks ago for a friend of mine from work. He was the same age as the young man I was visiting and he left a wife and four children behind. As bad as it is to have to spend Thanksgiving in jail, the young man I was visiting has other Thanksgivings to look forward to, the one who's funeral I attended does not.

As I got ready to leave yesterday, the young man said he would like to have me come back and visit with him again next week after he had done some reading from the 'Big Book' and I told him it would be my pleasure. As I think about these two young men, I can't help but think about how everything else in my life takes a back seat to my sobriety. Without it, I have no chance at anything else. So today, I give thanks for that.

Amazing Grace

2007-11-17T09:29:00.000-06:00

In one of my previous posts I talked about my new guitar and the "little miracle" that brought about its delivery. I can't remember being that excited about anything since I was a kid waiting for Christmas morning. And just for the record, my new baby is a Gibson, SJ-200 Custom. After I got it tuned up and played a chord on it...I was blown away. The sound was amazing.

As I sat there, new guitar in hand, I thought about what I should play for the first song on this guitar. It came to me like a thunderclap.

It was Amazing Grace.

Merriam-Webster defines amaze as "to fill with wonder", "astound". And grace as "unmerited divine assistance", "a virtue coming from God".

When my daughter Annette passed away last January, my brother Ben played Amazing Grace at her funeral. My brother Ben, who had just lost his own daughter four weeks before, did that for her and for me. It didn't hit me for some time just how much that song had touched me. That day, I just knew that Annette had passed through her "many dangers, toils and snares" and that she now had "a life of joy and peace" and would forevermore with the Lord.

I returned to Hayward, and started going to church on a regular basis at the Wesleyan Church. I heard Amazing Grace at church, Pastor Mark preached a sermon on Amazing Grace and talked about the movie by that name that had just come out. I went to a John Conlee concert (Rose Colored Glasses) and he sang Amazing Grace at the end of his performance. I went to an Oak Ridge Boys concert and they sang it too. It became a part of my Sunday morning routine to play Amazing Grace before we left for church. Amazing Grace became more and more a part of my life.

And the grace I have received, the "unmerited divine assistance" that has been mine for the receiving has been amazing. I found help and support in dealing with the grief of losing my daughter. And I found the strength to do it sober. Trust me, in the hours, days, weeks and months since Annette died, I have thought about being numb. I've thought about how nice it would be to bury my emotions and my feelings beneath an alcholic haze. "I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see." God's Amazing Grace, that "unmerited divine assistance" has shown me that I once was lost in that haze, that I was blind to how I ran and hid from life. But now I see. I see that "I have used up my right to chemical peace of mind". I see that through my grief, I can share with someone else that there is "a virtue coming from God" out there for them too. They can't earn it, they don't have to do a single thing to get it. All they have to do is accept it.

I was barely able to get through Amazing Grace the first time I played it on my new guitar. My wife, my other daughter and my son-in-law were there. It was the first time I had seen Sarah and Brian since Annette's funeral. I was thinking about my brother Ben, who played Amazing Grace for us. He was in the hospital and was at that time fighting his own battle with grief and depression over the loss of his own daughter. It was almost more than I could handle. But I got through it. And I'm happy to report that Ben is out of the hospital and doing much better. I love you brother.

Every day I draw a sober breath is another blessing. Another day to receive "a virtue from God". Another day to receive that "unmerited divine assistance" that is there for me each and every day of my life. All I have to do is accept it.

Heroes

2007-11-12T11:22:00.000-06:00

My dad served in the Marine Corps for two tours of duty in WWII and during the Korean War. He married my mother after he got out from his first tour and had just started his family when he was called back in the second time. If you asked him, he would say it was no big deal. He was just doing what he had to do. But it was a big deal. It is a story that has played out in the lives of countless families, countless numbers of times. Men and women, putting everything else aside to answer the call of their country. I know it is something my dad was very proud of. He was my hero growing up...and he still is.

My son Dan is currently serving in the US Army. He served for over ten years then mustered out and joined the reserves. He started a career and was well on his way to becoming a journeyman lineman when he was called back in last year. If you asked him, he would say it was no big deal. He was just doing what he had to do. He too, is my hero...and always will be.

Any man or woman who has put on their country's uniform, and in so doing has pledged to give their "last full measure of devotion" in service of that country, is a hero. Today we honor them. God Bless and Keep all the brave men and women who have served our country in the past. And God Bless and Keep those who are serving their country today. God Bless America.

Serenity

2007-11-11T18:58:00.001-06:00

It's been a very interesting few weeks. There has been joy and sorrow, smooth sailing and rough patches, but the days have all been good days. Any day I wake up with the choice of whether or not to drink that day...it is a good day. I thank God every day He has granted me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. It is that serenity that gives me calm in the midst of the storm. It gives me a choice today.

Little Miracles

2007-11-10T07:44:00.000-06:00

I used to believe in miracles. I had read about them in the Bible after all. But I had never known anyone who had been raised from the dead. And though I certainly drank my share of wine, none of it, to the best of my knowledge had started out the day as water. None the less, I believed that kind of thing did happen, just not in my day and age and not to me.

Then I got sober. As a part of that process I turned my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power, the God of my youth. The God who raised Lazarus from the dead, the God who turned water into wine, the God who became Man, who died and conquered death so that I could live.

When I turned my will and life over to Him, I underwent a spiritual awakening. I started to see His hand at work in my life on a daily basis. And I was amazed at the miracles that were happening in my life and had been even before I was able to see them. They weren't the Cecil B. DeMille kind, Charlton Heston wasn't turning his staff into a serpent or parting the Red Sea, but they were miracles all the same.

Here is the kind of "little miracle" that I'm talking about. My daughter and son-in-law flew in on Thursday for a visit and to pick up some furniture that we are not taking with us on our next move. The plan was for them to load up Friday and head back to NY on this morning. I had also been anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new guitar I bought on line last weekend. I had been tracking it all week and knew it had arrive in Minneapolis on Thursday at 3:30. So, Friday morning we get up and it's snowing, hard. My first thought is "this ought to be fun loading all this furniture in the snow". But I started my day as I always do, with a prayer and a desire that "Your will, not mine be done." After coffee, we all decided to head in to town for a little breakfast. I told my wife, "wait, what if my guitar shows up"? But it didn't get into the cities until 3:30 yesterday, surely it won't show up until this afternoon, so off we go. We decideded to go to Perkins for breakfast so I took an alternate route into town. On the way I told my wife, "I should have taken the main road into town in case I passed the FedEx truck on the way".

Now here comes my "little miracle".

Because I took the alternate route into town, I saw a FedEx truck at a business on the edge of town (that I would not have seen if I had taken the main road). I found the first driveway I could and turned around. By the time I got turned around, the FedEx truck was pulling out and he headed across the road into a residential neighborhood. He was out of sight before I could get back there to flag him down or follow him. Did I mention the snow that had been falling and how I thought that was such a bad stroke of luck to have to deal with all that rotten snow while loading furniture? Well, when I got to where I last saw the truck, there were the newest, freshest set of tire tracks to follow you could ever ask for. I followed them through this neighborhood, through numerous twists and turns right to the FedEx truck. I never would have been able to find him if not for the snow! And yes, he did have my guitar. I signed for it and tucked it safely away in the truck and then we all proceeded on to breakfast.

While we ate, the snow stopped. We went home and got everything loaded, without a single snowflake to hinder our progress. Then, after all the work was done, I finally got to open my guitar up and try it out. And oh, what a blessing. The first song I played was Amazing Grace, the song my brother played for my daughter Annette at her funeral. I talked to my brother who is in the hospital battling depression and received another of my "little miracles". He sounded so good, was taking an active part in his recovery and displayed an attitude that showed he was serious and dedicated to getting well. And my daughter and son-in-law were able to stay on an extra day!

Snow that was a hinderance was turned into a blessing. There was family to share a special a moment with. And my brother continued to show improvement in his fight to find his way in life.

Now I used to think this sort of thing just 'good luck' or mere coincidence. But no more. Today, I see these things with a new pair of glasses and I see the Hand of God working these "little miracles" in my life on a daily basis, all I have to do...is let Him.

Happy, Joyous and Free

2007-11-06T09:16:00.000-06:00

The Internet is an amazing thing, and blogs by extension are amazing as well. In just a few simple mouse clicks you can go from Heaven to Hell and back again.

Being new to the world of blogs, I went to my profile and start exploring where some of my links would take me. In just two clicks I found the pastor of my church and a wonderful site full of encouragement and uplifting messages about the love God has for all His children. Two more clicks and I was back to my profile.

This time I tried my link to AA. Two clicks there and I was reading about a young person who was full of despair, full of pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. This person wanted to know if the madness would ever end, would they ever be free of the insane urge to use heroin again. I left a couple of posts offering words of encouragement. I shared my experience, strength and hope and told this person that the madness would end and that they would be in my prayers.

I read some of the other comments to this person's blog. With one more click and I was at another site, this person talked of the futility of life. How life had little or no meaning. That the demons were really no different than the angels. I had to back click my way out of there...I didn't know what to say or if I should say anything at all.

I sat at my computer and stared at the screen, thinking about all the places the Internet would take me in just a few clicks of the mouse. It hit me that blogging really is a reflection of our society and the world as a whole. There were plenty of other links under AA that took me to the sites of people who embraced the whole concept of AA and recovery. People who believe, as I do, that my Higher Power created me to be happy, joyous and free. Again, it reflects what I have found to be true in recovery, and in life itself. That I get out of it just about what I put in to it. If I look for what's positive in my life, the positive increases. If I look for what's negative in my life, the negative increases.

Yesterday, my brother was admitted to the hospital suffering from clinical depression. Since the loss of his daughter almost one year ago, he has tried to fight the downward spiral he's found himself in, by himself. Yesterday, he took the first step, he admitted there was a problem and that his life was unmanageable, that he couldn't do it alone. I lost my oldest daughter just four weeks after his daughter died. I could have looked for the negative in his going to the hospital, if I were so inclined, and said, "that's just great, my brother has gone nuts and I suppose I'll be next." On the Internet that is inside my head, just a couple of mouse clicks will take me in any direction I let it, to Heaven or to Hell.

So for today, just for today, I will focus on what's positive in my life. Tomorrow I will take care of tomorrow. Today, I will be grateful to my Higher Power, God, for seeing my brother safely to the hospital. Today, I will be grateful for all the prayers and the support he has received on his site. Today, I will trust that God will do for him what he cannot do for himself. Today, I will believe that when he gets out of the hospital he will be able to live a life that is happy, joyous and free.

Will we ever forget our daughters or stop grieving their loss? Never. But can we live a life full of purpose, a life spent thinking more of others than of ourselves? A life that is happy, joyous and free? The choice is up to each of us individually. (And I'm not just talking about the two of us.)

I know which choice I will make for today.

God Bless you brother. Get well. Be happy, joyous and free.

I Am My Brother's Keeper

2007-11-04T18:47:00.000-06:00

Halloween has come and gone and in keeping with the new Madison Avenue paradigm, the Christmas shopping season is now upon us. It used to be almost Thanksgiving before we were blitzed with ads, but check for yourself, the local WalMart, Target, what-have-you, they're all sure to have Christmas on display, just waiting for you and your plastic.

And though I deplore the coming commercialism the season brings, I love the reason for the season. And every Christmas season, I think back to my childhood and I remember the Christmas seal stamps and the mailings we would get from Boy's Town. In case you don't remember, there was always the picture of the two orphan boys, with one carrying the other and the caption below that read, "He ain't heavy, he's my brother."

I find myself thinking of those lines tonight as I write this because my brother, just two years older than I am, is battling depression and I find myself wishing I could put him on my shoulders and carry him a ways. "He ain't heavy, he's my brother." A year ago this past December, my brother lost a daughter in an accidental death, she was just 27. One month later, I lost my oldest daughter to a sudden asthma attack, she was only 31 and left two small sons behind. Since that time there have been other family members and close friends of ours who have been called home. It has been a very rough 18 months or so. I don't know why depression has overtaken my brother and not me. Don't get me wrong, there have been waves of grief that I thought would never pass. Waves so strong that I thought surely they would drown me. My brother and I talk often, even though we are miles apart. I know he has a strong faith in God and in the life to come after this veil of tears has passed, as do I. I am so grateful for the love and support I found in my church. I know that that has helped to strengthen my faith in a way I never thought possible. Is my faith that much stronger than his? I think not. Is it that simple? I think not. I won't pretend to understand clinical depression or what causes it. I do believe that that is what my brother is fighting and if thats true, then faith has nothing to do with the root cause, but it has a lot to do with the battle against it.

So, since I can't put you on my shoulders brother, I will put you in God's Hands. I can't carry you, but He can, and He will. And if you think you ain't heavy 'cause you're my brother, you're as light as a feather in our Father's Hands. So there I will leave you and keep you and your family in my prayers. In that way, I will be my brother's keeper.

Give Me The Highway

2007-11-02T21:15:00.000-05:00

After being complemented for brevity in my first post, let me embark on a bit of a ramble and see where it takes me. My brother knows why I 'borrowed' his song title as my blog name. For everyone else, I have spent the better part of the last 25 years tramping back and forth across the country working on power line construction. It's taken my from California to New Hampshire and from Alaska to Texas with stops all along the way. And as I sit here in my Wisconsin log cabin tonight, my wife and I are preparing to move yet again, this time to Nebraska. Deep down, I think I was stolen from Gypsies as a baby and have never been able to shake the wanderlust inherent in my people. To quote my brother's song:

Give me the highway, don't let my feet settle down,
I tried it a long time ago, but it didn't work out.
I'm just a daydreamer hoping that dreams never end,
And they never will just as long as I'm travelin' about.

So there it is, I'm just a daydreamer who loves traveling across the country, seeing what's around the next bend or over the next hill. I have seen sights that have taken my breath away. I've met some truly extrodinary people. I've had my share of ups and downs, like all of us have, and as a result I've undergone quite a transformation over the years. For more years than I care to admit, I partied like there was no tomorrow, thought only of myself and managed to make a mess of pretty much everything I touched. Then almost 14 years ago I 'hit my bottom' and finally got honest with myself. I've been clean and sober since SuperBowl Sunday in 1994.

Why the long ramble? Partly to explain the header of my site, trudging the happy road of destiny is right out of the Big Book. And I do feel a sense of responsibility to be there if someone else reaches out for help the way I did almost 14 years ago. If there hadn't been someone there for me my chances of being here today would most certainly be somewhere between slim and none. So I am there whenever someone else reaches out. And I say all this because yesterday I learned that one of the men I have been working with for the last 3 years died in a one car crash that was alcohol related. He had had DUI problems in his past and I tried to share my own struggles with him in an effort to show him there was another way. Obviously I was not able to reach him. And he was not the first. Over the years I have seen several close friends succumb to the desease of alcoholism. It is a cold, hard fact of life that people die from this desease. I wish I could have reached my friend before this week. I couldn't and more's the pity.

But I'm still a dreamer. I dream that one day we will all be able to grasp just how precious life is and how quickly it can end. In the blink of an eye, in a single beat of the heart. Maybe, just maybe if we could all wrap our minds around how precious the gift of life is and make that a priority in our lives we could see how much we have in common instead of how much we differ. Who knows, maybe then we could even learn to have civil discourse over our differences of opinion on politics, religion and life styles instead of the intolerance, name calling and hyperbole that characterize so much of public and private debate these days.

My First Attempt

2007-11-01T17:03:00.001-05:00

With apologies and credit to my brother for stealing the name of one of his songs for my blog, this is my first stab at blogging so forgive the ramble that follows.

To 'Watson in the Adirondaks', thanks bro for always being there for me. I love reading your blog. I took DD's test and to no surprise came up with Fred Thompson as my leading candidate. Hillary, also to no surprise was at the bottom of the list, or as close as makes no difference.

This for 'Bor-Rod', that unholy union of soulless agent and uber-greedy, totally self-absorbed ball player.